Decisions

We bought a canoe. We needed a water vehicle and this is the perfect entry-level family waterpod. So we’ve been mapping the aquatic terrain around town and last night we tried putting in at Redbud Island, a popular dogpark not far from home. Only, we didn’t gauge the current well by sight and had a difficult time attempting to circumnavigate the island. Standing at a push against the current, over boulders and eddies, I sweated as Chas fussed and leaned out of the canoe. He wanted to swim off the starboard, and Ford wanted to lean over the starboard to watch Chas, and all I could do was pitch nagging pleas and breathe shallow puffs as I tried holding onto Chas’ lifejacket. I was so afraid of tipping, since we really haven’t practiced rolling safety with the kids.

The rest of the lake felt like satin and reflected the huge pink clouds above. A Chinese duck followed a trail of goldfish crackers left by Chas, who giggled and greeted him with a singsongy “Hi, Dut!” We paddled through a troupe of swans whom I was sure might attack us (for being so rude) but they just watched us compassionately, as if we were lost mental patients, wandering alone and down the lake and shouting out high-pitched nonsense. An annoyed red-tail hawk tracked us as we glided only a few yards beneath him and his cypress perch, taking off for a quiet place once we were too close. Bats, everywhere against the blue twilight and the greasy feeling of sunscreen and sand and sweat between skin and car seats.

…

Ford starts school on Monday. We found a way to pay for the neighborhood Montessori program, decided it would benefit everyone and enrolled him yesterday. I feel like a homeschooling dropout but the only thing that will likely be damaged by this decision is my pride. So while I busy myself preparing for next week, I think I’ll stay on this little blog hiatus another few days. I just haven’t felt like talking much or writing much. It’s time to reflect and be quiet amid the chaos so the boat doesn’t tip over.