The Hook

I made it past the breakers, beyond the brute slap of the Pacific’s arm and the ramming plunges of whitewater, onto the mammoth back of the ocean. It swells and heaves beneath me. I feel so small.

I paddle farthest out, and behind me, everyone bobs atop their boards, all in black, all watching the outside. Suddenly, floating above the emerald heft, I relax in between sets. I circle to face shore, sitting upright. My feet tangle in the slick fingers of kelp that sways in a world beneath me, a mystifying, pulsing abyss. Sea otters hump three feet from my board, unashamed, and I smile and wipe snot off my face while they cavort and roll in a large circle around me.

I swing outside again and see nothing under the white curtain of fog. But back on the shore, I watch the boys and Dwight take turns sliding on the sand, learning to skim, climbing the cliff rocks. Chas is wearing a red baseball cap. That was a good idea.

Damon, yards behind me on his big banana longboard, puts both fingers to his eyes, then one finger points outside. I turn my back. A tremendous hussy of a wave shows me her hand, and my face falls. I am sucked offshore in her slow inhale, and in the green-gray glassy shadow, where I watch the kelp reach skywards, I draw a pillowfull of air and slink off my board. That’s when the beginner follows her stomach, covers her head, and plunges round and round to the place where leashes become necklaces, surfboards rocket, and the ocean smacks a big fat bubbly sign on my forehead that reads  “DUMBASS.”

Moffett Field

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Ford and his friend, Revan, study the model with anxious eyes, and eager fingers tap the glass and track the belts. Revan’s father is about to take us for a ride on the VFS, Vertical Flight Simulator, and five astronauts were in the sim only hours before.

The building smells like a well-oiled metal shop and the hi-gloss waxed terrazzo recalls the set of 2001; the interior hasn’t changed in thirty years. But it feels oddly comfortable to me; like the industrial white and ochre interiors of Texas A&M, where I hung out afterschool with dad, about that many years ago.

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We’re in the shuttle cockpit. The boys land it at night onto an airstrip. During our visit, the mechanics work downstairs on one of the elevator motors, so we have to imagine the horrific vertigo; the boys crash five times before landing correctly. Still, I find myself covering Chas’ eyes as the tarmac lights swallow the shuttle, and all is then black.

The kids laugh and touch every archaic steel switch on the console, poring over the data screen, trying to make sense of the complex code of numbers and letters, and I, scanning the code with them, get a sense of what they’ve been going through this year, as they have slowly begun to string letters together to form words, and understand the translation of larger numbers, how to scan linear strings of data. Folds upon growing folds of intelligence, carried by wild chariots of grubby abandon, tell us everything without words; wonder behind the flood of simian awe.

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Ford picks a pen and sits quietly at the table beside me. It’s so warm and sunny on our backs. I look over to see what he’s working on, and no surprise, it’s another mandala. It’s hard not to smile and approve him while he’s at work, but I do it anyway. I love his current obsession. As he draws upon a piece of previously-used typing paper, I reach from my corner of the table and pass him a small pocket-sized moleskine. “Here,” I nudge him. “You need a sketchbook for those.” And he has one of those grins that stretches from ear to ear, a really infectious smile, which rings melodious to “Thanks, Mama!”

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Later, I catch him at the kitchen table before lunch, doodling away again
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And I think to myself, this is so perfect and right, this meticulous new phase of his. I love the geometry, I love the patience, and the infatuation with such a universal, timeless thing.

But he’s also into school mode, which means he’ used to busywork already. I caught him copying some fleurydoodles I’d been scribbling in the studio, after he’d sat down beside me later.
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He then challenged me to a duel. “Ok, you have to copy whatever I do, allright?”
Ok.
Which proved difficult.
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I had to try about 4 times to replicate his design correctly. Instructing me to start over, I’d have to repeat the whole, “First, morning glories, then connect them, then three leaf stalks, then a stalk of wheat,” etc. Four times! I’d get three steps or so into each drawing and become completely self-absorbed, adding frilly tendrils and black-eyed susan vines…I think this copy was most accurate.
duellingMandala

Still, he got completely frustrated with me and wound up storming off into the other room before I finished. He’s not a natural teacher, these days, and it has me wondering who he might be emulating.
That’s the thing about school; I can’t be a fly on the wall every day, so I’m left wondering who might be misdirecting him in my absence. Or maybe he’s just the perfectionist I see, slowly coming into focus.

One thing is certain: his obsession is rubbing off on me….