Category: Ford

I walk Ford to school every day. School’s been going great.
Today when we rounded the corner of the playground, the boys yelled, “FORD’S HERE! FORD’S HERE!” and stampeded to the fence to wait for him. Closer to where we walked was the little playhouse, and a cute little girl in pink and white, with straight blonde hair heard his name and walked out towards us. Ford lurched forward from the jogger so he could annunciate through the veil of chain-link:

“I’M *NOT* YOUR FRIEND!!!”

She heard this, didn’t flinch, and turned right-side-round back to the playhouse. I watched her tell the other girls what happened. Or that Ford is a little prick and I hope he never calls again. That bastard.

UPDATE:
It has been over a week since I last posted this, but I forgot to mention that, on the following day’s walk to school, Ford picked yellow wildflowers for this sweet little girl. When he arrived at the gate, Ford climbed over his friends to hand-deliver them. Alas, she didn’t want to hold them all afternoon, and Ford wondered why not. Still, they are new friends.

We were shuffling through a lazy night of low-IQ tv with the kids and landed on E! during an episode of The Girls Next Door. Because it was too mature for the children, we kept oggling for a while, long enough to pique Ford’s interest. About ten minutes into the show, Ford ultimately broke down and asked us, in response to the selective digital pixellation,

“So, are we having satellite problems or something?”

Mom places Ford’s lunch before him: several boiled shrimp, some fried rice, and a crimson red crawfish, and Ford looks at his plate with proud disbelief and surprise.

“Is this a crawfish?”

“Yep.”

He sits there, peering into the crawfish’s tiny boiled black eyes, examining it like some Edwardian curiosity.

“It’s so cute!”

“Want to touch it, mommy?”

“Is this his thorax?”

“Yep, it’s in there. I think his abdomen is in there, too. Well, part of it. Anyway, you eat the tail.”

“Like a shrimp?”

“Yep, like a shrimp.”

“Can I eat it?”

“Sure can. Here (I break open the tail, pull out meat, God this looks disgusting, and hand it to Ford)

“Mmm! I like it!”, grinning. “Can I have some more crawfish?”

I look up at my mother with a faint look of “WTF?” and then we both laugh at how cute this really is.

She tells him, “Ford, I’m so impressed with your adventurous palate!”

“I know,” he tells her into his plate quietly.

And while she and I eat and chat and wrestle Chas through the rest of lunch, Ford continued to eat crawfish. Periodically, however, he obliged the technicolor carcasses to duels sur le table, narrating as he went along.

He’s becoming a very interesting narrator.

Like today, when we were reading the book I Be You and You Be Me by Ruth Krauss and Maurice Sendak, there was a page in the book tenderly illustrating a boy standing on a quaint little hill overlooking a small town, with birds flying overhead and trees in the valley…the words go:

I love the sun

I love a house

I love a river

and a hill where I watch

and a song I heard

and a dream I made

I asked Ford, without reading this charming passage, to narrate this picture himself. Just to compare. Here’s Ford’s rendition:

There was this boy,

on a hill,

and somebody PUSHED him over the hill,

and he crashed onto the town

and shattered in a million pieces

and broke his eyeballs all over the place.

That’s it. That’s what happened. (grinning)